Coercive Control: How it ‘makes’ you love the person that hurts you the most! – By Tina Royles; Director Royles Ltd
“Sadly, the account described below in The Guardian’s article, is an all to often real life story of what the majority of individuals living in a relationship where coercive power and control is prominent. I have worked in the area of domestic violence in a professional capacity for almost three decades; firstly as a police officer, and one who specialised in domestic violence, trustee of women’s aid refuges, a manager of a perpetrator programme, a qualified psychotherapist focusing on domestic violence, and within my investigation and case-building company which includes cases of domestic violence where the victims have been ‘failed’ by the authorities, community and society as a whole. There is still such a strong ‘disbelief’ amongst many as to why a ‘victim’ would stay…domestic violence and control is extremely complex, and yet when incidents and descriptions are taken in isolation, often the magnitude and severity is lost on representatives meant to help. The whole picture paints a different story – one of systematic abuse, over an intense period of time, highlighting a pattern of disturbing emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, and financial abuse on many varying levels…and yet despite this; Sally, and many others like Sally, are left to suffer this horrific ‘torture’ largely on their own, because the behaviour by Sally is viewed too often by ‘bystanders’ as being in some way complicit, and after years of absorption, something had to give, and in this case it was Sally.
I hope the Guardian encourage its readers to show support and seek justice for Sally”